A Sexy Outfit? Check
A Big Smile? Check
Oozing Sex Appeal? Double Check
The Art & Science of Flirting 101 … today’s lesson once again began at the Fracture Clinic. The first day of class was back on October 4, 2017 when the ER doctor said “Lisa, stay there and don’t move. You have a really bad fracture. I will get someone to splint it.”
And in walked Daniel*. Tall, dark, and handsome. Broad shoulders and adorably cute glasses. He stuck his head in the waiting room and told me to sit tight while he fetched a wheelchair to wheel me the fracture room.
It only took me three seconds to size him up. That’s all the time it takes. Did you know that our eyes – the windows to our soul – take in over 7 gigabytes of data per second? The original supercomputer. Look him in the left eye and connect to his right brain.
I sell myself to him.
I told him flirty stories. Daniel laughed, tsk tsked my naughty behaviour and buried his face in his hands when I told him how far I had walked on my broken ankle. “Girl, somebody up there must love you! You are so lucky that bone didn’t separate and come out the other side!” I mumbled something about not having any luck, otherwise, I wouldn’t have broken my leg in the first place. He reminded me It Can Always Be Worse. Indeed. I know it well.
I forgot to lock the wheelchair and it pushed back while he was getting my leg settled into the boot cast and Daniel smiled lopsidedly and said, “That’s ok, I’m used to chasing women. Come back here.” He gently pulled me forward towards him and I melted.
Our eyes locked. My eyebrow raised. He smiled. I smiled an even wider grin. I’ve just given him the green light to fill my dance card.
Wit, body language and wooing.
It’s that slow, sultry salsa that two people engage in when indulging in flirtatious behaviour. Whether you realize it or not, it is as intricately choreographed as the ballet. The movements and signals are subtle yet unmistakeable … we speak a vital but silent language exchanging very critical and astounding information about our sexual fitness.
Flirting hints at the promise of sexual intimacy. It’s an integral sport indulged in to lure your potential love interest inside your titillating web of of desire. The objective is to mate. Why do we pretend to be coy when the message is implicit? Because it’s all about what might happen—what could happen.
Temptress. Tease. Touch.
That smoldering look when the sparks fly. Eye contact held a little longer. Coy banter. Flattery gets you everywhere. Batting eyelashes. Smiling. Laughing. Casual Touching. Conspicuous proximity. Footsies if we are close enough.
What are some of the recommendations to improve your batting average?
~ Steal glances … Daniel noticed when I arrived. I saw his sidelong look my way and his eyes followed me.
~ Make eye contact. Look directly into their eyes and hold the gaze … Our eyes met again across the room.
~ Then smile … I flashed him my biggest, most welcoming grin.
~ Speak up and ignite the conversation. Say something funny and flirty. Drop your voice to a husky whisper as if your words are for their ears only. No cheesy lines … Daniel dropped by and leaned against the door frame to my hospital room. He asked me how I was. I said “We didn’t win” referring to the LottoMAX ticket he told me to purchase the last time I was in for my checkup. When he told me how lucky I was and that I needed to buy his next ticket, I seductively suggested we share. “I’ll buy our ticket tonight” I said as I left. And I did. I am a woman of my word. Note that those tickets won us three free plays … So wish us luck on the Decmeber 22 draw!
~ Introduce yourself only by your first name. Leave some mystery … “Hello. I’m Lisa.” But he knew that because it said so on my file.
~ Flirt with your body. Cock your head to the side, look adorable and play with your hair … He clasped the back of his neck, which made him seem taller and bigger by puffing out his chest. We have each signalled our interest in each other as predictably and instinctively as peacocks fan their tails.
~ Wear something red … I licked my lips unconsciously.
~ Break the touch barrier … My hand brushed his arm as I left the clinic, fingers trailing along his bicep.
~ Wrap it up and leave them wanting more. Be the first to break contact … “See you in three weeks!” I purred with a smile.
Mark December 20th on your calendar. Does Heather score a date with her dashing saviour? Should I invite him out dancing? Could I leave him a note with my number on it?
“Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction. Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then test each other on an array of attributes.” found Steven W. Gangestad, Ph.D., a psychologist who studied how we choose our mates. (1)
Daniel knelt down in front of me to fix my boot. He wouldn’t let me leave with it on improperly. “You need a man to take care of you,” he said. Yes. Yes I do. And I like your confidence. Are you making an offer for the position? Because I am accepting. This is the business conduct of sex.
Girl capuchin monkeys throw rocks at the boys to get their attention. She will even play with his hair, then run away, pouting and posing when he looks at her. The redder and more swollen a female baboon’s ass, the more aroused she is.
No wonder red is the colour of love! And we thought it had something to do with our hearts, not our asses.
Insects bring gift baskets of food. Roosters take their chick out for dinner by sharing his meal. Boy birds sing and bust a move on the dance floor, making grandstand displays of their feathers to attract a girlfriend. Or they build her a castle.
I’d love that.
I much prefer the silent language our human bodies use to signal attraction. You know that incredibly energy you get when you’ve met someone delicioulsy attractive. You just feel like skipping down the street while breaking into song. Your self-esteem reboots. Your sense of exhilaration has you walking on air … that feeling of being alive brightens with megawatt intensity. Your joyfulness gets all your senses fired up into peak condition. Everything around you is brighter and happier. Relish the moments. They are what make us feel alive.
It’s the only game I play.
P.S. Today was November 22nd! The Number 22 always has something to say to me …
*Name(s) changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!
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