There are only two things … no, three things that will make me froth at the mouth in anger.
- Being too hot
- Being hangry
- Being late for an appointment
Today … it wasn’t very hot at all. The car told me it was a mere 20C/67F. So I wasn’t cranky because I was hot. And, I had a good breakfast of two eggs over easy with toast and coffee.
But I was late. And I hate to be late. HATE IT.
I get that from my Mother. She would ignite with a quick fuse if something or someone made her late or made her wait. She hated wating. No patience whatsoever. And I take after my Mom. Patience is not one of my virtues.
Today I had to be at the Lakeridge Heath Spa (also known as the Durham Regional Cancer Centre) for 10:30 AM. I woke up on time, but had a few things to do with my son and was then rushed for time to get ready.
Quick shower … I have a shower cap for my PICC line on my left arm because it cannot get wet. Pulled that on in a hurry. In and out. But I realized I didn’t have time to get all prettied up so I had to forego hair … eyebrows … eyelashes. No time for makeup. Cripes! I looked like a cancer patient. I have only been out and about once before with a cap … and that was when I went to Emerg for my second fever and I was too sick to care.
I care how I look … if only for myself. I refuse to give up my identity to cancer. I’ve fought so hard to take control of my image from cancer. But underneath … it did its worst. I do indeed look like a cancer patient.
And I scared the SHIT out of myself after my shower. Who knew that fake eyelashes were reuseable?! I have not had much success in reusing them, but I have to learn. They are costing me a small fortune and I can’t blink money away. I put the last three pairs in a dixie cup in my washroom. I caught a glance of these buggers in the cup and they looked like a nest of black centipedes! I literally screamed and jumped back. Cancer is a scary thing.
I really do look like a cancer patient now. No eyebrows. I have a few strands of eyelashes hanging on, but most of them are gone 🙁 My hair on my head – believe it or not – has started to regrow but the first hair is baby fine and completely white. Apparently, the pigment doesn’t kick in until later. I am worried that chemo has forced me into completely grey hair. But. BUT! If that is the case, I will dye it something closer to Heather’s honey brown with blonde highlights rather than my natural dark chocolate brown. I always look for the positive …
Here is the hard-to-show photo. Do you feel sorry for me? I guess I have to show you that I have been to hell and back. I am only posting this because I have been keepin’ it real since I found that damn lump. It’s hard to put this face out there instead of Heather’s. Or Sophie’s. Or Sasha’s. Or Storm. Roxy. Co Co. And the unnamed green wig (Lucky?). Oh! And I have brown and pink pony tails I haven’t worn yet!
Chemo is kicking my ass but I still get up every day.
Back to this morning’s tale. I was out of time because I had to make a stop along the way to the hospital. So I put on a simple dress and Sketchers running shoes. I can’t wear flip flops in the rain because I have wiped out before. I don’t want to risk an injury now.
I hustled out the door 9:45 AM and I was still 10 minutes late for my 10:30 AM bloodwork appointment.
There is construction along Hwy 2. Thank you Durham for deconstructing every East/West artery in the region at the same time!
I had to stop at Shoppers Drug Mart … and someone was buying 10 gift cards that had to be scanned and activated. Only one cashier open and two people ahead of me. And I forgot to pick up my presecription so I have to go back … a wasted trip. #chemobrain.
The rain started so I bought a new umbrella.
It poured buckets, which caused everyone to pull over with their fourways flashing.
One car hit another parked car as it pulled over and everybody stopped on the road. Frozen.
Traffic finally moved again and I. Hit. Every. Single. Red. Light.
Pulled over for a firetruck, which reminded me to call the firefighter.
Someone didn’t know where they were going at the hospital and stopped in the middle of the road to figure life out. I finally lost it and laid on the horn because they weren’t moving, no one was getting in or out. There is no Kiss n’ Ride at the hospital so people stop where ever they want to let someone in or out. I’d feel awful if I honked at an elderly person.
I was now officially late and frothing at the mouth. I forgot that today was just bloodwork so I would be in and out of the hospital within 10 minutes. I had used my parking pass … and didn’t need to because the first 30 minutes are free. Dammit! I just wasted $6.50. Instead of sticking my card in, I should have just hit the button for a ticket.
The parking garage on the cancer centre side is under construction, so I have to park on the north side. And it is a shit show to get to the top floor. People do not know how to drive in a parking garage. I had to back up because some woman was over on my side and just sat there. Waiting for me to move. So I laid on the horn again. I wanted to yell at her, but … I didn’t. Literally took 10 minutes to get to the top level where there were available spots to park. I ran in, scanned my patient card in the Cancer Centre and they called me for my blood work within 30 seconds.
Back out the front door … all the way up to the car to get my parking pass … all the way back down to the Parking office. I asked them if it would read that I was only in the hospital for 10 minutes. They graciously put back today’s charge and let me know that I only have two parking days left on the card.
Back up to the 6th floor and it took me over 5 minutes to get down 6 levels. I wondered if I would squeak in under the 30 minute wire or if I would actually be in the parking lot and hospital for 31 minutes. Now THAT would make me foam at the mouth! But it didn’t happen. The Time Lord was on my side for at least that.
Then I went to the Ontario Court of Justice to get advice on my deadbeat ex who hasn’t paid any support in years. How is that for late?
I suppose it was good that I wasn’t looking my best, because people in line allowed me to sit and wait my turn rather than stand. Then the Duty Counsel informed me that she couldn’t see me until after lunch and she had to seem someone else first so I should come back in an hour and a half. So I zipped over to Best Buy to get a charger for my phone. I don’t have an extra one.
They … of course … didn’t have one that I liked for my iPhone so someone graciously told me that The Source was just across the street and they would have them. Thank you! But I did buy a Tile and a joke stocking stuffer for my 19 year old. A selfie stick! He will ROLL HIS EYES when he sees that thing. I have to test it.
Grabbed the cheapest phone charger at The Source store, lunch at Panera and back to the court house for 2:15 PM. Thankfully I paid for street parking and my stub wouldn’t expire until 16:37.
Visited very quickly with Duty Counsel and found out my case file is still active so I can push for a settlement case conference. The question is … is it worth it? The laws really are only there to protect the minimum rights. But they certainly do not enforce what is morally right.
I will leave my /rant against the Family Law system for another day.
Almost always on time,
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