Had lunch with a long time girlfriend today – her boy and mine grew up together playing baseball.  She and I are both single Moms doing our very best to raise our boys (for the most part) alone.

The boys were too caught up in their conversation to notice us, so our topics dove into dating.  What’s your experience?  Any luck?  Any hope?  Dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is just hell.  We qualified all the material out there as truly damaged, but I have to be fair and say I have been the common denominator in all my relationships.  So … would have to throw myself into that same pile.  That might be topic 17.1.1 with Dr. Dan.

Dr. Dan did ask me to ask God for help.  And I have been testing God … to see if he really is there.  I forgot to tell you about Test #2 (which came before the baby sparrow).  The heart of stone.

I have some music I purchased on iTunes for yoga years ago – and never really listened to.  My Mazda CX-3 Zoom! Zoom! will randomly pick a song when it connects to my iPhone via bluetooth on startup.  I left Dr. Dan’s office on this June afternoon, started the car, and it played Soulmerge by Ashana.  Visceral response right from my soul.

This song is the song I listen to when I want to connect to God.  Every day. It’s beautiful.

For some reason, it draws me to the water of Lake Ontario.  So one morning I took the dogs down to the lake so I could actually listen to this music while in the spot by the lake that I envision.  They – the dogs – needed a good hike first so we walked (they sniffed) and walked (more sniffs).  On our way back, I stopped at my “point” to listen to Soulmerge.  We then went right down to the water so I could get my feet (sans flip flops!) into the lake.  I had to.

<It’s funny but I had someone tell me after that this was my baptism.>


While walking along the shore of Lake Ontario with the dogs, I asked God for something – again very specific – and I received it.  In minutes.

I asked for a pink stone in the shape of a heart.  Isn’t that stupid?!

But I got it. That heart of stone photo up there is the rock I found on the shoreline of Lake Ontario that morning.  Right after asking God.  RIGHT after!  So I won’t question where it comes from.  And I still have it.

So why the hell has He not given me a LOTTO MAX?

Graciously yours,


© Lisa Jobson 2017