She’s a little coo coo.  Tower 10 as Bridget says, which I think means certifiable, without the cheque!  She’s only coming out for special occasions … à la Coco Chanel. 

If you are just tuning in … I had Triple Negative Breast Cancer and am going through chemo now.  I lost all my hair after Chemo 1 which is chronicled in Ciao Bella.  Then … I got five wigs!  Oh, Heather … You didn’t! and Meet Sophie! and Foxy Roxy! were previously introduced.  You have yet to meet Storm!  I AM the Storm.  And then we named Sasha!

Coco is Unique.  Quirky.  Beats to her own drum and dances with no concern who is watching … Coco walked into the Chemo Lounge like she was walking onto a yacht (there is a song in there).  Brilliant two-toned pink hair – held back with a diamond comb – TYVM.

This wig is another Jon Renau special called Bettina in Frosting Pink.

Coco wore dangling pink earrings and all her bling.  She threw silver glitter around like it was a dime a dozen (there is a story in there … Annie chewed the silver shoes I got out this morning and I lost my silver Tiffany bracelet … but we will find it!)

She wore a short gray dress … and 4-inch platform silver heels made even better by a glittery pink pedicure!  Toe cleavage and delicate ankles …  Andrew’s* favourite.  I might have to blog about that sexscapade with Andrew!  I did tell you I have tiny, little scars on each ankle, thanks to that sexy guy, didn’t I?

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Coco channels a little Cyndi Lauper as well – and sings Girls Just Want to Have Fun!  They just wanna …

I have a pink adult sippy cup from Indigo that says “Be so good they can’t ignore you” … and that is exactly my plan!

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I think it was Audrey Hepburn who said “Make a grand entrance … even if you have to get stuck in a revolving door to do it.”

Coco arrived.  All she needs is a purse chichi with a diamond collar and leash.

People stopped and dropped their jaws as I rolled into the Durham Region Cancer Centre! Really!  Like I was one of a kind … cray cray.

The Chemo Lounge nurses stopped … and stared.  I walked by their desk as if they should fall in line as part of my trailing entourage … and gestured with my hand that “Oh … I don’t do cancer the normal way … You won’t see anyone else like me in the Chemo Lounge!”

I smiled at my Chair 16 nurse and said, “You won’t forget me!”

I think Anastasia* actually rolled her eyes a little at all the girl drama that just blew into town …But the three of us settled into a nice chat about men and dating in this post-modern family world of our 50s as she started my chemotherapy.

I try to think of the Red Devil as my friend.  I used to have a sign in my bedroom that said:  Be the kind of woman who, when her feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says “Oh no! She’s up!”

I replaced that with a typography art piece of the word Grace when I decided there was no place for the devil in my bedroom.  He did, however, show up in my chemo drugs.  If this is a battle for my soul, I won.  I may have traded in a few years but God and I keep my soul.  And that is another post … Sex, drugs, rock and roll and religion all in one day!  Coco needs a sleeping pill.

Edited to add:  Coco thought she took a sleeping pill.  Christyne texted the Gremlin Warning on time – I am like a little Gremlin that cannot be fed or watered after 9pm lest I choke on my snack.  I ramp up with the pre-chemo steroids and eat, then crash with the sleeping pill and exhaustion in a matter of seconds.  I fell asleep with a granola bar in my mouth after my first chemo infusion.  However, Coco got the pills out – placed them on the counter then – Ohhhhh look!  New earrings!  She forgot.  And two hours later I found them while peeing red.  Let’s say goodnight again ladies!  Off to bed with you two …

Anastasia told us that this red drug is so toxic that if it spills on my skin, I would need a skin graft … It’s like Alien blood.  Tissue and nerve damage on contact … and they are pumping this shit right into my heart through my vein!  No wonder I have a Red Devil expiry date.  I can only get so much of that drug in this lifetime, as it can cause permanent heart damage.

My nurse suits up in a hazmat suit to administer my chemo cocktail by hand … just in case my vein springs a leak.  Those blue gloves and waterproof gown (extra thick) are for her protection … not mine!  She did not wear a mask but I promised not to be sick.

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But in it went to do its kick-ass job of killing any stray cancer cell that may have escaped my breast tumour.  I can only be thankful and hopeful.

I am grateful for the beautiful people in my life, like Christyne, who drove three hours today to take me to chemo.  Jill – we missed you but want you and your family to get healthy – I will visit once I bounce back from Chemo 3!  You, Jill … are the source of my courage to face cancer like I do … I’ve never forgotten your grace and your words.  Love both of you.

I’m grateful I still have time and didn’t bleed out on the way home … Christyne is an EXCELLENT driver, but some idiot decided he was going to make a left in front of us with just the clearance of a few feet … and a few brakes!  Christyne threw up the Mom Seatbelt arm!  I love you!

I’m grateful that I am alive, and so are our children … We heard them call a Code Pink in the birthing ward while in the hospital today.  That is an infant Code Blue …

I’m just grateful.

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And with that quicky intro, Coco has retired to the boudoir for ce soir … I am comfy in my chemo slouchie cap knitted by Christyne.  I am wandering into the chemo fog on a rollercoaster in the dark for a few days …

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Fuck you cancer!

Coco/Lise (because Christyne is from Montreal aussi)

P.S.  It’s probably a little disconcerting to interchange between she and I … my poor readers!  She is I … I am her.  We’re all good.  All six of us.  No Sybil here …

*Name(s) changed to protect the guilty and the innocent!

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One thought to “… So this is Coco …”

  • Christyne

    Love you to the moon and back!!

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